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Programmer's Wife
Husband (returning late from work): Good evening dear, I’m logged  !
Wife: Have you brought the groceries ?
Husband: Bad Command or file name
Wife: But I told you in the morning  !!
Husband: syntax error. Abort?
Wife: what about my new T.V?
Husband: Variable not found.
Wife: At least, give me your credit card; I want to do some shopping.
Husband: sharing violation, access denied  .
Wife: Do you love me or do you love computers or are you just being funny.
Husband: Too many parameters.
Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you  .
Husband: Type mismatch.
Wife: You are useless  .
Husband: It’s by default.
Wife: What about your salary.
Husband: file in use…try later.
Wife: What is my value in this family?
Husband: Unknown virus…
Confession
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet , not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says : Dark in here.
The man says : Yes , it is.
Boy : I have a baseball.
Man : That's nice.
Boy : Want to buy it?
Man : No , thanks.
Boy : My dad's outside.
Man : OK , how much?
Boy : $150
Man : Sold.
In the next few weeks , it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together!
Boy : Dark in here.
Man : Yes , it is.
Boy : I have a Wilson infielder's glove.
The lover , remembering the last time , asks the boy : How much?
Boy : $350
Man : Highway robbery. Sold.
A few days later , the father says to the boy , "Grab your gloves , let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says : I can't , I sold my ball and my glove.
The father asks : How much did you sell them for?
The boy says : $500
The father says : That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... That is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says : Dark in here.
The priest says :Don't start that shit again , you're in my closet now
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,'send me a brother'....
Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'.....
Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'
Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'
Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'
Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'
A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential? '
Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! '
Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Husband: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush .'
Whats the difference between Hook in Cricket and Hook of Bra?
One sends ball out of the boundary and Other keeps balls within the boundary.
A very Sexy & attractive Female Employee meets her Boss & says, "Sir, would you mind removing something from my BREAST"
Boss: Anything for U..
Female Employee: Your fucking Eyes, Sir!
Girl: Mom, Yesterday Rahul wanted me to climb on Tree…
Mom: U Fool, he actually wanted to see your Panty…………….
Girl: I Knew it, that why I removed it before climbing the Tree…
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